Cut From Steel

HE ATE ALONE FOR YEARS. THEN HE WENT TO DINNER.

Charles Dickens published A Christmas Carol in 1843. Its main character, Ebenezer Scrooge, may be the loneliest man in English books. Dickens described him as “solitary as an oyster.”

Scrooge lived by himself in rooms that once belonged to his dead partner. He ate his dinner alone in the same gloomy tavern every night. When his nephew Fred invited him to Christmas dinner, Scrooge turned him down cold.

Then came one long night with three ghosts. They showed him his past, his present, and a future where his death left nobody sad.

Scrooge woke up on Christmas morning ready to live differently. He paid a boy to fetch the prize turkey from the poulterer’s and had it sent to his clerk, Bob Cratchit. That afternoon he walked to his nephew’s house. “It’s I. Your uncle Scrooge,” he said. “I have come to dinner. Will you let me in, Fred?”

Fred let him in. The next morning Scrooge raised Bob’s salary. To Tiny Tim, who did not die, he became a second father. Dickens wrote that Scrooge became “as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew.”

You do not need three ghosts to see where an empty calendar leads. Scrooge changed his life by walking into a room full of people. Your brain may thank you for doing the same.

Forgot a Name Again? Look in Your Kitchen First.

You can’t find your keys. A name you have known for years is right there, and it won’t come out.

Most men file that under getting older. Memory researchers at the University of New Mexico point somewhere else: one everyday kitchen habit they say to stop right away.

It is one small change. According to the researchers, it can strengthen your memory and sharpen your focus, starting today.

More than 47,000 people have already made this simple change.

Helen K. from Denver put it plainly: “I thought memory loss was just aging. Turns out I was wrong — and so was my doctor.”

==> See the kitchen habit memory researchers say to stop

THE PHONE THAT STOPPED RINGING

You used to see your friends without making a plan. They were at work, on the team, or at the bar after the game. Then the kids grew up, the job ended, and people moved away.

I noticed it one Sunday a few years back. My phone had not rung all weekend, except for a reminder from the dentist. I could not remember the last time I sat across a table from a buddy just to talk.

You may know that kind of Sunday too. Most men call it getting older and leave it there. I want to show you why your brain does not see it that way.

IT'S NOT AGE. IT'S AN EMPTY CALENDAR.

You might file loneliness under feelings. Researchers now file it under brain health. Three findings explain why.

01 / Isolation is linked to dementia

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy put out an advisory on loneliness in 2023. It reported that poor social connection is linked to a 50 percent higher risk of dementia in older adults. The same report tied it to a 29 percent higher risk of heart disease. A 2023 study followed 5,022 older Americans for nine years. Those who were socially isolated were 28 percent more likely to develop dementia.

02 / It made the official list

Lancet’s 2024 commission on dementia named 14 risk factors that people can change. Social isolation is on that list, next to hearing loss, high blood pressure, and inactivity. The commission estimated that tackling all 14 could prevent or delay nearly half of dementia cases. In other words, your social life sits in the same column as your blood pressure.

03 / Friends at 50 predicted health at 80

Harvard researchers began following 724 men in 1938, and the study is still running. Robert Waldinger, its longtime director, has said the men most satisfied in their relationships at 50 were the healthiest at 80. Relationship satisfaction in midlife predicted their health better than cholesterol did.

PUT SOMEONE ON THE CALENDAR

You do not need a big social life. What you need is a few people you see on purpose, week in and week out.

I started with one call a week. Every Sunday afternoon, I phone a man I have lost touch with. Some calls last five minutes. One of them turned into a fishing trip.

You can also put something fixed on the calendar. A weekly card game works. So does a men’s breakfast, a walking group, or a volunteer shift. Pick a standing date that does not depend on your mood.

You should get your hearing checked if conversations have become hard work. Hearing loss is on that same Lancet list. Trouble following the talk can make a man stop showing up, and that is how the calendar empties.

One last thing. Make one call before dinner tonight. Your brain needs the company.

— Travis

Insider Member's Corner

6 free habits that keep your brain in good company:

Three things that are better with company.

01 / Watch · Rolex Datejust 41

Rolex introduced the Datejust in 1945. It was the first self-winding, waterproof chronometer wristwatch to show the date in a window on the dial. The 41mm steel version is the everyday Rolex, built to be worn, not saved. Pre-owned steel examples have been listed from around $11,500. Wear it to every dinner you show up for.

02 / Drink · A Pint of Guinness in Dublin

Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000-year lease on St. James’s Gate in 1759, at £45 a year. The Guinness Storehouse stands on that site today, and an adult ticket includes a pint at the Gravity Bar on the top floor. Drink the second pint in a proper pub with a stranger. Dublin makes that easy.

03 / Home · A Card Table for Poker Night

A sturdy folding table, two decks, and a case of chips will do. What makes it work is the same four men showing up every week. Keep the stakes low and the jokes cheap. Within a month it becomes the night nobody wants to miss.